Take all of me

Let's just dive in head first. Get out from behind the curtain, take off all my "clothes" and stand before the world "naked".

When I woke up sunday morning I sat on the edge of my bed. Rubbing my eyes, trying to remember where I'm even at & cursing my alarm clock for doing what I told it to do...and there it was.

 

My stomach was touching my thighs.

 

I couldn’t believe it.

 

I've done it again. 

 

287 pounds, the biggest I've ever been.

 

I’ve used food as a coping mechanism for years to deal with tragedy and painful life experiences. A life that built a huge shit sandwich that landed on my plate and I’ve been bound and determined to eat it ever since. There was a time I bit off more than I could chew and bulimia found me.

 

(deep breath) I did it, I'm out from behind the curtain. That was the easy part.

 

As you walk along this journey with me, you'll eventually see all of me. The secret life of Obesity. This is NOT a cry for sympathy. No one feels more sorry for me than I already do. I've hid for years, absent from family pictures, hid in the back of group shots, making up stories to get out of social engagements...hiding.

 

I'm not hiding anymore, hiding behind the fat! Not another day. Not another minute.

 

My life depends on it.